It's Not Fair: Spoken Word by Abi Walter-Browne

It’s not fair

Why cant someone else feel like this instead of me?

What have I done to deserve this?

So many feeling I just can’t keep track:

Anxiety, hate, anger, loneliness, depression

But that’s not all

There’s so much more, but how do I even start to describe it all

It’s not fair

Why cant someone else feel like this instead of me?

What have I done to deserve this?

My family and I couldn’t communicate

Friendships affected

But no one seems to understand

School saw me as lazy

Friends saw me as annoying

So many people saw me as attention-seeking

I saw me as me… except I wasn’t me anymore

It’s not fair

Why cant someone else feel like this instead of me?

What have I done to deserve this?

‘But you’re in control of how you feel’ people say,

‘But what about your coping mechanisms?’

Breathing takes too long to work

Meds have awful side effects

I guess I could talk to others… but talk to who?

Who would want to talk to me?

It’s not fair

Why cant someone else feel like this instead of me?

What have I done to deserve this?

So what else can I do?

Drink, take drugs, eat, self-harm, smoking

I think it helps in the short term, so I do it again and again

But it doesn’t help

In fact… it makes it worse

It’s not fair

Why cant someone else feel like this instead of me?

What have I done to deserve this?

Yet the thing that hurts the most is anger

Taking it out on others when I don’t mean to

Losing people I care about because I can’t deal with conflict

Feeling incredibly isolated, but I’m surrounded by those who want to help

It’s not fair

Its… not… fair

Bye guys! Speak to you all soon.
AbiBeth xxx

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